Death, Grief and Ritual: Lessons from an Interfaith Minister
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What does it really mean to do death differently?
Recently, I sat down for a conversation with Catherine Ashton for her fabulous podcast Don’t Be Caught Dead to talk about my own journey with death, grief and ritual. It feels tender to share, because in this conversation I opened up about stories I’ve rarely spoken about - from my Interfaith Ministry training in London with the OneSpirit Interfaith Foundation, to the moments of loss and bereavement that shaped my calling to end-of-life care.
Coming home to the Blue Mountains, I’ve found myself walking alongside families in their most vulnerable moments - holding space for truth, love and sometimes the messiness and discomfort that comes with death care. Funerals are not always simple. Sometimes they’re for people who were complicated, or even deeply difficult to love. I believe ceremonies can hold those competing truths. That honesty matters.
We also explored why including children in funerals can be so healing, and how rituals don’t need to be pompous or overly formal. They can be barefoot, in a backyard, or deeply personal in ways that reflect real life and love.
One of the most formative moments of my path was my grandmother’s death. It sparked a mystical experience that changed the course of my life and continues to guide my work today. Truth-telling, even when it’s excruciating, is part of that guidance - a reminder that grief isn’t tidy, but it can be transformative when honoured with care.
Alongside my work as a funeral director and celebrant, I also host monthly Death Cafés here in the Blue Mountains. These gatherings invite the community to talk openly about death, dying, grief, pet loss, and even the unresolved grief that lingers from COVID. What I love most about them is how human and surprising they are — a reminder that these conversations belong to all of us.
In the podcast, we touched on:
How my own bereavements shaped my calling
The power of interfaith ministry to honour all truths
Funerals for complex relationships
Including children in grief rituals
The importance of truth-telling in ceremony
What happens in a Death Café (and the themes that always rise up)
How ritual supports us not only at the end of life, but in all kinds of transitions — from funerals to renaming ceremonies
I believe ritual is one of the most powerful tools we have for making meaning of life and death. It’s what helps us grieve honestly, heal gently, and remember deeply.
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