How To Start A Death Café

 
 

It all started when…

Twelve years ago, I attended my very first Death Café in London - hosted by the movement's founder, Jon Underwood. That experience changed everything. Now, as the host of the Blue Mountains Death Café on Dharug and Gundungurra Country in Australia, I’ve spent the past year creating a warm, welcoming space for her community to talk openly about death, dying and what it means to be human. To celebrate our first birthday in March 2026, I’m gifting this class freely - to anyone, anywhere in the world, who feels called to start their own Death Café.

AMY’s TEN TIPS TO STARTING YOUR OWN DEATH CAFÉ

  1. Know Your Roots: Visit deathcafe.com and read the guide. A Death Café is not a grief group or workshop — it's an open, agenda-free conversation. Knowing the difference helps you hold it well.

  2. Free. Always: Death Café is always free of charge. This is non-negotiable. It's what makes it genuinely accessible to everyone in your community.

  3. The Cake! Food is comfort. Sharing something sweet before a big conversation is an ancient act of care. The cake is not decoration — it's part of the ritual.

  4. Find Your Room: Libraries, cafes, bookshops, neighbourhood centres, community halls — even a big lounge room. The space should feel warm, accessible and ordinary.

  5. Small Group Sweet-spot: The sweet spot is 12 - 15 people Ticket your (free) event via Humanitix or Eventbrite - and overbook slightly. There are always a couple of no-shows.

  6. Open With Care: Begin with an Acknowledgement of Country, then acknowledge Jon Underwood. Then set the agreements:
    No advice-giving
    No subtle advertising
    No converting beliefs — all philosophies welcome
    Speak from your own experience

  7. Ask the Right Question: I find it helpful to open with: “What brings you here today?” It doesn't assume anything. It invites first-timers and regulars alike to check in with what is alive - or dying - in them right now.

  8. Make Room for the Quiet Ones: Gently create openings for quieter voices. Try: “Let’s make some space for the voices we haven’t heard yet.” Some of the most beautiful things said in a Death Café come from someone who almost didn't speak.

  9. Tell Your Community: Local Facebook groups, neighbourhood apps, library and bookshop noticeboards, local newspapers, community radio, and deathcafe.com. Word of mouth is still the most powerful thing

  10. Get Out of the Way: You don’t need answers. You don’t need to be an expert. Your job is to hold the space, not fill it. Trust the people in the room. The conversation will find its own shape. It always does.

You don’t need permission. You just need cake and a willingness to begin.

You got this. x